While watching "30 Rock"

• Nancy: Isn't that guy in the hospital now?
• Grace: What, who?
• Nancy: The one that plays the idiot, Tracy Morgan.
• Grace: Wha- how did you know that? You never watch this show.
• Nancy: It's nice to know I can still surprise you from time to time.

The critically acclaimed Downing Nobby

• Nancy: I was watching that British show you like last night and saw one of my porcelain pieces in it!
• Grace: Oh you mean Downton Abbey?
• Nancy: Yes, Downing Nobby.
• Grace: Downton Abbey.
• Nancy: Donawning.
• Grace: Downton Abbey.
• Nancy: Downonanon.
• Grace: Forget it.

• (Andrea Bocelli's "Ave Maria" is playing, Nancy starts to sing along)
• Me: Please stop singing, I'm not drunk enough yet.
• Nancy: I am.

How to find a man, according to Nancy

• Nancy: I just read an article in the Chinese newspaper that offered valuable tips on how to find a husband in New York.
• Grace: Ah, do tell.
• Nancy: They're all at the Whole Foods near Columbus Circle.
• Grace: Like in an aisle or kept fresh in a veg crisper?
• Nancy: No, they go there to buy their healthy foods. Afterwards they buy coffee and sit there to people watch.
• Grace: ...
• Nancy: They're there! Sitting! People-watching! Those are your future suitors!

Bieber Fever

• Grace: (after Justin Bieber movie ends) That was surprisingly good. I was going to send it back to Netflix without even watching it.
• Nancy: See, I think that shows that I still have taste. I insisted that we watch the Beeba movie. It's a helluva lot better than that show with the English guy that plays the angry doctor at that Princeton Hospital.
• Grace: You mean House. The show that has interesting plots and complex character development.
• Nancy: Yes. Whatever. That kid with the pretty hair was better.

Thieves window-shop too

• Nancy: Grace, you really need to put your valuables upstairs and not have them all willy-nilly downstairs. A robber could come by, peek through the window, and break into the house because your iPad attracted them!
• Grace: So you're saying that burglars go through neighborhoods, window-shopping for the best houses to break into?
• Nancy: IT'S WHAT I WOULD DO.

If my career plans don't work out, then...

• Kristina: Man, I want Anderson Cooper to adopt me. Do you think he would be willing to adopt a 21-year-old Asian?
• Grace: Well, that does seem popular among gay couples.
• Kristina: As primetime television shows have demonstrated.
• Grace: We could put you in a basket and leave you at his front door.
• Kristina: Yeah, and then I would have a thunderbolt scar on my forehead!
• Grace: I can be your Dumbledore!
• Kristina: YES! And when I'm older, it'll be---
• Grace: "You're a wizard, Kristina!"