To that end, please REBLOG this if you want more JM-loving friends to follow you! There will be a whole lotta followin’ going on. :)
(Screencap from Crying, while eating)
Kummerspeck is a German word which literally means grief bacon: it is the word that describes the excess weight gained from emotion-related overeating.
Why am I not surprised that the Germans thought of this? Sausage, beer…come on!
(of light or fire) glowing, gleaming, or flickering with a soft radiance.
the magical, lambent light of the north.
(of wit, humor, etc.) lightly brilliant.
a touch of the lambent bitterness that sometimes surfaced in him.
I’ve never publicly spoken about the difficulties I felt this summer— because, well, when you’re going through a hard time, the idea of broadcasting that to hundreds of strangers is less than appealing. The truth is, I got very homesick, and I spent a lot of days wondering what I’m doing here. I missed my friends, and can’t explain the ache that occurred when many returned to college and I didn’t join them. I wrote maybe sixty cover letters this summer. I interviewed every week I’ve been in Boston, save the first. I got a lot of emails that said, “Thanks for applying— we really loved meeting you, but we’re going to go with someone else.” I worked a tough job that paid me too little. I had a breakdown at the MGH stop on the Red Line once after partying all night with Zak, when he took me out to distract me from my increasing sense of worry over underemployment. It didn’t work. The train stayed in the station for forty minutes and I screamed at him in a car full of embarrassed onlookers. “What the fuck am I doing here?” I barked. “I have NO IDEA when I’m going to get a good job. I came here with NO PLAN. I don’t even LIKE YOU that much! And what kind of BULLSHIT TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM is this where the trains stop running at one when the bars close at two?” Boys never understand how important it is to just have a good, cathartic cry once in a while, but Zak didn’t ask any questions. Instead, he petted my hair while I sobbed in his lap, and in the morning made me breakfast and then took me to play with the kittens at the pet store. When I asked him why he didn’t just leave me at the train station (because I certainly deserved it), he said (because he’s basically Mr. Darcy), “I wouldn’t do that. We don’t do that. We pull through.”
So, I pulled through. And I learned to quit feeling sorry for myself. I realized that paying attention to anonymous Internet commenters or the kids I went to college with who are working at their dad’s companies or my own self-doubt wasn’t going to get me a job. Searching for jobs was going to get me a job. So, I kept looking and kept applying and kept interviewing, until I got a call last Friday and something stuck. In retrospect, I am very, very lucky: my search only lasted two and a half months. I’m also blessed because the new gig is exciting: it’s at a really innovative, interesting PR agency, and I’ll be doing work that I enjoy and that helps organizations I admire. And I’m SO grateful: to my family and friends, for taking every single phone call; to my hosts here in Boston and to the cafe for literally allowing me to survive; to Zak and his family, for always making me feel welcome in their home; to Kevin Fanning’s amazing book Let’s All Find Awesome Jobs for its humor and encouragement; and, of course, to you, for your well-wishes and kindness through what has been a tumultuous and stressful period. I feel ready to start extensively writing again, because I’m in a place where I can do that joyfully and with abandon. I’m not trying to sound hokey. I’m just excited to finally, really start the rest of my life.
Congratulations, Emily! You are awesome and your new company is lucky to have you.
THIS WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO READ. Thank you.
Favorite John Mayer song.
“Covered in Rain”.
According to iTunes, I have played it 906 times (that’s excluding the number of times I’ve played it before Time Machine came into existence and allowed me to keep a steady backup). It has never had an official studio recording. The only recording of it is from his first live concert album “Any Given Thursday.” I like it for the lyrics, the guitar solo, and the hint of melancholy. My favorite part of the song is:
From fireworks to fireplaces
Summer stole what fall replaces
And now we’re people watching
All the people, people watching us right back
Standing by the missing signs
At the CVS, by the checkout line
She puts her quiet hands in mine,
Cause she’s the brightest thing I’ve got
I haven’t heard him play it in a while, and I always hope that he’ll play it every time I see him live.
It’s not JM related, but HOW CUTE?!: